If only!

Bike lane added to Second Ave. Subway:

Dana Muskowitz, spokesman for the Gotham Motorists Association, expressed bewilderment at the plan, stating “our city’s relentless promotion of a trivial hobby at the expense of drivers’ urgent needs has reached unacceptable heights. Seriously, is the Mayor in the pocket of the front-mounted basket industry?”

Wolfson acknowledged that the Second Avenue bike lane was likely to face criticism. “Bike lanes have become a third rail in the city’s politics. So isn’t eighteen inches from a third rail the most natural place to put those lanes?” Continued Wolfson, “allowing underground cycling is an environmentally friendly way of moving traffic around the city, not to mention the potential to dramatically reduce the number of cyclists who are struck by lightning.”